How to be an Elegant woman: Finally Seen, Heard, and Command Respect
Are you sick of feeling invisible and overlooked despite all your hard work? This is your roadmap on how to be an Elegant Woman to elevate your presence, command respect and be that girl who radiates class and confidence from the inside out!
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You know the feeling… unseen amongst the crowd, unheard when you speak, and constantly being an outsider amongst life’s inner circles. Despite all your hard work and capability, somehow, promotions and opportunities pass you by, and respect remains elusive. Why? Just because you weren’t born into wealth or privilege?
The short answer is no, absolutely not! But I was once that invisible person. Always working tirelessly in my own lane and never to be recognised. Until I unlock my soft era by embarking on my personal elegant woman journey.
I remember vividly offering an idea for a project at a work meeting that landed on deaf ears. Yet another colleague (male) said the same thing moments later and got a standing ovation from the room! True story!
But I don’t blame him or the male-dominated society. I blame myself for not having the presence that commands respect or the confidence to speak with conviction. Can you resonate?
Perhaps you’re sick of operating with masculine energy, constantly competing fiercely with a male-dominated world for your voice and recognition! And now you’re craving to be more you, more soft, and more feminine without being robbed from your capabilities and achievements.
I understand your desire to elevate your presence and finally be seen and heard, as the high-value woman you’re meant to be! You want to walk into any room with confidence, and the ability to navigate social or professional situations with ease and poise.
Yet, the path to mastering these “unspoken rules” and stepping into your feminine power may feel hidden or even out of reach, and only available for the elite society, who can afford to send their girls to finishing school.
I was right there where you are until I discovered the art of being an elegant woman.
I’ve spent many years learning the unspoken rules and traits of a high-power, sophisticated, elegant woman who commands respect everywhere she goes. I discovered the transformation power refinement has on me, my career and my confidence.
I realised it often comes down to the subtle tweaks we make to the way we conduct ourselves, which has the biggest impact on our brand and how we come across to other people.
Today, I want you to have access to these insights. Apply them in your every day to unlock your full potential and elevate your life.
If you are feeling stuck in life, then this post is for you! It’s time to shift the narrative. Stop settling and start unlocking your best life era.
Key takeaways:
- Adopting The Savvy Ladylike’s three-step system ➖ Discover, Refine, Elevate as an ongoing transformation strategy to become a better version of yourself.
- Nurturing the Savvy Mindset of an Elegant Woman. Shifting to a growth mindset, cultivating positive thoughts and emotionally resilient
- Unlocking the Ladylike Secrets to cultivate refinement from the inside. Making subtle tweaks to your daily habits, mannerisms and social grace to bring out your elegance from within.
- Refining your elegance on the outside with Ladylike Style. Defining your signature timeless look, curating a capsule wardrobe to look polished and put together at all times.
- Living the elegant lady life by engaging in Elevated Experiences. Creating a meaningful and purposeful life whilst indulging in the finer things.
Signs of an Elegant woman: What Makes a Woman Elegant?
“Elegance is the only beauty that never fades”
Audrey Hepburn
When I think of an elegant woman, the word graciousness comes to mind, embodying inner grace with outer sophistication, always poise and polite. She is gentle and composed in all situations but stands strong in her principles and values.
An elegant lady has a classy aura around her. She is refined from the inside out with the ability to savvily navigate social and professional scenarios with grace and class. However, she continues to find ways to further elevate herself. She is confident in her own skin and commands respect wherever she goes.
She has a knack for making everyone around them feel comfortable and appreciated whilst not drawing attention to their flaws. Externally, she is always well-dressed and put together.
An elegant lady is self-assured and doesn’t feel compelled to prove anything to anyone. She lives by her values and principles. She approaches life with a sense of purpose, confidence and grace. She sees life’s challenges as an opportunity for growth and refinement.
Knowledge is power. Power is confidence. She objectively identifies her shortcomings and invests in her personal development.
Related post:
The 3-Step System to Level-up: Discover, Refine and Elevate
Here at The Savvy Ladylike, we make elegance the way of life. Our lifestyle. We believe it’s a journey, not a destination and requires ongoing refinement.
This is a journey to creating a purposeful and intentional life ➖ a life full of colours and extraordinaire with sophistication and refined taste.
As I’m a Process Architect, I like to compartmentalise things into systems and processes. The Savvy Ladylike’s guide to becoming an elegant woman is no exception! haha…
Our level-up journey is underpinned by my three-step system: Discover, Refine, and Elevate. This is my philosophy of life. Continuously discover where my gaps are, refine myself to mitigate the gaps, and elevate myself.
Let this be our compass and principles to guide us on our refinement journey to becoming a version of ourselves. I explained this in more detail here.
The Savvy Ladylike’s guide to Be an Elegant Lady
We are dynamic individuals and have multiple facets in our lives. Therefore, to become an authentic elegant lady, you need to make elegance your whole being, not just about your physical appearance.
From the inside and out, from your thoughts to actions.
Whether you’re feeling stuck or searching for a breakthrough, this is your roadmap to become the high-value woman you were meant to be.
Our level-up process is broken into four building blocks of your life:
- Savvy Mindset: Developing the mindset and thoughts of an elegant woman
- Ladylike Secrets: Unlocking your elegance from the inside by nurturing ladylike habits, mannerisms, and social grace
- Ladylike Style: Refining your physical appearance for a timeless and polished look
- Elevated Experiences: Cultivating a refined taste and experiences to create a meaningful and intentional life whilst indulging in the finer things.
Savvy Mindset: a Growth Mindset and Positive Thoughts
We cannot talk about transformation without first talking about mindsets. Your mindset drives your belief system, which drives how you see yourself.
It is well-documented that the way you see yourself will have a profound impact on how you lead your life. The version of yourself in your mind is the person you will become. This is the ultimate driving force behind what you accomplish in life.
Therefore, you need to make some mindset shifts when embarking on your elegant woman transformation.
By the way, they can be applied to all other areas in your life, not just your level-up journey.
Shifting to a Growth Mindset
First and foremost, shifting to a growth mindset. Dr. Carol S. Dweck wrote an excellent book called Mindset, where she split people into fixed or growth mindsets and how it is linked to how much they accomplish in life.
People with a fixed mindset believe that their qualities and skills are fixed and can’t be changed. Either they were gifted (i.e. born with it) or they don’t. They don’t believe they can develop the skills if they aren’t gifted.
On the contrary, people with a growth mindset believe that their skills and qualities are a measure of their abilities at a point in time and, therefore, your “basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others”.
Let’s plant the seed now and start seeing yourself as the classy enviable woman you’ve always wanted to be. You can be that girl. You are that girl. And you belong to the high-class society.
Cultivating Positive Thoughts
Life is tough! It’s tough enough without that negative voice inside your head telling you how sh!t everything is. So cultivate positive thoughts instead.
When you focus on positivity, you’re not ignoring the challenges, but you are consciously choosing to view them through a constructive lens rather than dwelling on all the things that were “done unto you”.
A savvy mindset redirects energy towards solutions and opportunities. This shift in thinking empowers you to approach each day with optimism and confidence, nurturing self-belief and inner peace.
I want you to actively choose positive thoughts, reframe your setbacks as lessons learnt, and change your inner voice that supports your goals and well-being.
Developing Confidence and Self-Worth
Once you have a growth mindset, you will be more receptive to improvement and growth. This might be counterintuitive, but humility is a form of confidence.
When you start to see your shortcomings as opportunities to improve. You don’t feel compelled to constantly try to prove yourself or the need to broadcast your worth to others.
You’re confident in your capabilities right now because you believe that whatever you don’t know now, you can learn it.
Over time, your knowledge and experience will increase your self-worth and further enhance your confidence.
Begin by respecting yourself deeply, setting boundaries, and stop going out of your way just to be nice. Find your circle that lifts you up and inspires you to be the best version of yourself.
Eliminating Toxic Comparison
Another technique to develop a health mindset and encourage positive thoughts is to stop toxic comparison. Stop comparing your beginning to other people’s end. Stop comparing your step 1 to other people’s step 5.
The only comparison you need is to see how far you’ve come today from your yesterday, and how far to go tomorrow.
Being Emotionally Resilient
When I talk about emotional resilience is having the ability to adapt to, recover from, and thrive despite life’s challenges, setbacks, and stressors instead of letting them consume your whole being.
It’s about being in control of your emotions and not letting them control you.
A woman with class does not react impulsively. She is always calm, collected and intentional with her actions and words. This doesn’t mean she suppresses her emotions and pretends everything is fine when it’s not.
However, she has developed the capacity to effectively process emotions with strength and flexibility. They maintain a balanced perspective and find constructive ways to move forward even when things feel overwhelming.
Learn how to express emotions, especially negative ones, with grace, intention, and impact rather than coming across like “she’s lost it again”.
Give yourself time to process it, try to see things from the other person’s perspective, and feel empowered to have an adult conversation about it.
Time will allow you to calm down, plan an attack, and be more intentional with your words, and therefore become more gracious in your approach.
Ladylike Secrets: Refine Your Internal Elegance, Poise and Grace
This is where you’ll learn all the ladylike secrets and unspoken rules of upper-class society. Becoming an elegant woman involves cultivating daily habits and mannerisms that embody grace and sophistication.
This is what I call cultivating refinement on the inside (the next section is… yes you guessed it… refinement on the outside).
Your actions and temperament (or 气质 (qì zhí) in Chinese) are essential qualities of an elegant woman and need to be practised every day until it becomes second nature, a habit.
It’s like the Butterfly Effect. When you do something consistently every day, it will morph into something grand and exceptional over time.
Therefore, let’s add a big dose of elegance to our everyday actions and conduct until they radiate from the inside out.
What does it mean to practise poise and grace every day?
Practising Mindful Speech
Good communication is one of the hallmarks of an elegant woman, and the words you use are important. Using the wrong words can damage relationships and negatively impact your self-image.
Therefore, practise mindful speech by choosing your words thoughtfully to reflect kindness and grace. Speak calmly and listen intently. Use words that make you sound more elegant with proper enunciation, and refrain from profanities.
Making Good Posture and Confident Body Language a Daily Habit
A classy woman understands the importance of good posture and confident body language. Therefore, make this a daily habit.
Standing tall or sitting straight, with your shoulders back and chin up, will create a relaxed yet poised demeanour that conveys elegance and grace. This will instantly elevate your presence and make you appear more confident.
Practising good posture not only improves your physical appearance but it’s also good for your spine alignment and reduces muscle tension.
These small adjustments will significantly impact how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. So, embody this in your daily actions.
Nurturing Inner Beauty and Kindness
Whilst physical appearance is important, true class and elegance come from inner beauty and authentic kindness. A classy woman understands the importance of being kind to herself as well as others.
Practise kindness by adopting a self-care ritual in your daily activity, such as a beauty routine, journaling, practising gratitude, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.
An effective method I use is a mindfulness practice/meditation. I just do 5-10 minutes a day, and it literally changed your life! This got rid of my anxiety and enabled me to be more emotionally resilient by living in the present.
Learn more daily elegant woman habits in this post.
Embracing Etiquette and Manners in Social Situations
No, etiquette and manners are not old-fashioned. They are timeless practices that reflect your sophistication and respect. I wish they would teach etiquette at school! It will make us better humans!
I think most of you know the common manners such as saying “pleases” and “thank yous”, don’t talk with your mouth full, etc.
A woman of class goes a few steps further by understanding proper etiquette and social graces. This allows her to savvily and graciously navigate through awkward social encounters.
For example, the rules of eating in a fine dining restaurant, formal table manners, adherence to the dress codes, etc.
Learn how to be a gracious host if you’re hosting a dinner party or if you’re attending a party this holiday season, how to be a gracious guest.
Finally, if you’re travelling to another country, familiarise yourself with their culture and basic etiquette so that you don’t accidentally offend anyone.
These gestures may be small and are often not noticeable, but they will be obvious when you make a faux pas. When you get it right, it will demonstrate you’re socially savvy and leave a favourable impression on others.
Ladylike Style: Refine Your External Appearance
So, we’ve discussed setting the right mindset and cultivating elegance from within. The next step on our roadmap is refining your external appearance, Ladylike Style, to look effortlessly timeless and sophisticated.
Defining Your Timeless Style
A classy lady always looks polished and put together but never over-the-top. Her look is the epitome of effortlessly chic and refined. She takes pride in her physical appearance by making sure she is always appropriately dressed and well groomed, whether it’s lounging at home or attending social engagements.
Elegant dressing is embracing a timeless style and a sense of simplicity in your daily attire.
Firstly, you need to understand how to dress for your body type, secondly, define your signature timeless style that brings out your personality, and choose outfits that stand the test of time. It’s not about chasing trends or dumping a tonne of money on designer pieces.
This is a huge topic, and I cover it in detail on how to dress like an elegant woman where I go through all the nuances to help you define your timeless look.
Building a Capsule Wardrobe
Once you’ve figured out your style, you can start curating a capsule wardrobe to reflect it. Start by shopping in your wardrobe. Identify what items stay, what goes, and what you need. Then go shopping.
Building a timeless wardrobe is something you build over time. It is an investment in yourself and your levelling-up journey. It’s about buying quality, not quantity. And you to collect pieces that reflect your personality, and can be worn for years to come.
Start off with some basic pieces like a little black dress, tailored blazer, white shirt, shirt dress and a trench/cashmere coat that stand the test of time.
Timeless style is not just about the clothes you wear. Consider investing in quality accessories such as designer handbags, elegant pumps, and fine jewellery. These pieces will complete your look with a touch of sophistication and class.
Taking Care of Your Everyday Grooming and Personal Hygiene
Looking after your physical appearance as an elegant woman is not just about the clothes you wear and the handbags you carry. We also need to pay attention to the details, like ensuring you’re well groomed every day and taking care of your personal hygiene.
This means making sure your nails are tidy, having clean hair, looking after your skin etc. These little details can make a huge difference in your overall appearance and keeping up with your polished and elegant persona.
Establishing a Beauty and Skincare Routine
Part of taking care of your skin is establishing a beauty and skincare routine, morning and night. Figure out what products your skin needs then establish a daily ritual around it.
My skincare routine consists of a cleanser, toner, two types of serums, and a rich cream moisturiser, plus sunscreen if I’m going out.
I have an evening routine and a morning routine. Every Sunday, I pamper myself with a home facial and a luxuriously hydrating sheet mask to replenish the moisture.
Invest in high-quality and clean products. I’ve been on a K-beauty journey since holidaying in Korea and have not looked back. Excellent quality, highly effective, and great value for money. It’s a win win win!
Finally, learn some basic makeup techniques and establish your go-to everyday beauty routine for the added boost of confidence. I shared my everyday no makeup makeup here, in case it helps you. It takes me 5-7 minutes in the morning. So perfect for busy women like you.
Elevated Experiences: Living the refined lifestyle
This is where the magic happens! Living the elegant woman lifestyle by applying everything we’ve learnt to elevate your life and live a refined lifestyle. Live your very own Savvy Ladylike lifestyle!
The last step in our roadmap is all about elevated experiences, so you know what it feels like to live an elegant life. If you can feel it, you become it, and when you create a life you love as if you’re already living it, it’s much more effective. This is the mindset shift we need.
Secondly, engaging in elevated experiences is a great way to cultivate your refined taste. This doesn’t mean overindulgence. It’s about choosing meaningful things to do to enrich your life, intentionally and purposefully.
Yes, you will find soft, purposeful and intentional living a common theme in this blog, as this is the principle I want you to live by because life’s too short to be living on autopilot!
Learning how to appreciate the finer things in life, finding beauty and joy in your surroundings, and embracing the culture and sophistication this world has to offer is pivotal to creating an elegant lifestyle.
Having an open mind and the curiosity to experience new things is key. Here are some of the things you can do to elevate your everyday.
Adding a Sparkle of luxuries In your everyday
Elevating your everyday life doesn’t have to be grand and expensive. It can just be adding the little things that bring you joy into your daily routines.
Like as simple as lighting a scented candle before you head to bed if that makes you feel good or have a clutter-free space. How about refreshing your home for seasonal changes to stimulate creativity and inspiration?
I love having fresh flowers at home, so every few weeks, I’d pick up a bunch of flowers and pop them in a vase. What about having a calmer morning where you get to sit down for a cup of coffee?
Dress with intention at home. Even on those lazy Sundays, make an effort to get out of your pyjamas into outfits that make you feel polished and put together ➖ invest in quality loungewear.
Elevating your dining experiences
Explore the world of fine dining, not just for the cuisine but also for the cultural and culinary experiences. Try out different restaurants, fine dining or Michelin-starred ones.
When you travel, dedicate time to dine at restaurants that serve authentic local cuisine. How about choosing one from The World’s Top 50 Best Restaurants in your destination? This is honestly my favourite thing to do when we travel. Learning about different cultures in food, appreciating the rich flavours that the chefs have meticulously prepared and plated in front of you. Not to mention the wine pairing. It’s just exquisite!
All of these experiences will help you to develop a refined taste bud. You can also apply your knowledge about fine dining etiquette and table manners, showcasing what a savvy and sophisticated diner you are.
Don’t forget about your dining experiences at home. Cook with fresh ingredients. Try out different recipes. Set the table, and eat with the proper cutleries. Why not pick up a bottle of wine to pair with your meal?
Embracing slow travel and exploring luxurious destinations
An elegant lady is grounded, knowledgeable, and culturally aware. Travelling and exploring the world is the best way to learn about other cultures and traditions.
Embracing a slow travel style is a great way to get a deeper and more immersive experience of a destination. It’s not elegant rushing from one historical site to another. In my opinion, anyway. I like to take my time to relax and explore the place before moving to the next one.
Next time you’re planning a trip, try not to overpack your itinerary with too many things to see. Take your time to explore the destination. Remember, it’s about quality, not quantity. You can check out my 3-day slow travel itinerary in Catania for inspiration.
Dedicate time to indulge in local cuisines and fine dining restaurants. Opt for places that offer enriching experiences, whether it’s scenic countryside escapes, a historically rich city break, or a relaxing seaside destination.
Another way to elevate your travel experience is to prioritise comfort and quality. One of the biggest joys I get when travelling is coming back to a fluffy king-size bed in a luxury hotel, like really immersing myself in elegant living and high-value life experiences! haha
Don’t get me wrong, not all of our trips are five-star resorts and luxury hotels. Just like you, we have to balance between luxury and budget. We do this by having a holiday fund where we contribute a fixed amount to it every month. This allows us to have at least one splurgy holiday a year.
Nurturing an elegant hobby
Apart from dining, wining and luxury travel, another great way to elevate your life is through your passions. Consider picking up an elegant hobby such as painting or tennis, picking up a musical instrument or learning a new language.
In this digital age, you don’t need to spend a lot of money to learn new skills. There are so many cheap, if not free, resources on the internet, podcasts, YouTube, etc. During the pandemic, I picked up flower arrangements from YouTube, which is something I never thought I’d do, but it brought me so much joy. I get to be creative, my rooms get nice floral displays!
It is through passion and curiosity that life becomes both meaningful and beautiful. You might also meet some interesting people along the way!
Embrace Your Journey to Elegance today and Start Elevating Your Presence
Becoming an elegant woman is a transformative journey that touches every part of your life. By cultivating a savvy mindset, adopting ladylike habits, refining your style, and embracing an elevated lifestyle, you’ll transform into a more authentic, graceful version of yourself, radiating from the inside out.
Remember, this journey isn’t about striving for perfection. It’s about applying our three-step system, discover, refine, and elevate to unlock your full potential, elevate your presence, and being seen, heard and command respect from everyone you come across.
Allow this roadmap to guide you on this journey. Elegance is within every woman who seeks it. Embrace each step with grace, and believe that your transformation will open doors, enrich your experiences, and lead you toward a truly fulfilling life, just like it has done for me.
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The contents are very educative
Thank you so much! Pleased to hear you found it helpful. Xx