How to Speak More Eloquently: Secrets of Speaking with Elegance
The art of speaking elegantly is a timeless testament to grace, wisdom and the key to establishing yourself as a sophisticated savvy lady. As a recovered glossophobia (i.e. fear of public speaking), I understand the secret to overcoming it is by learning how to speak more eloquently and mastering the delivery of our words in daily conversations to increase the impact of our message.
I was inspired to write this article after being mersmerised by visuals and speeches made by the Queen and other members of the Royal Family during the Platinum Jubilee weekend a few years back.
This is also why you’d see my photography of London streets dressed in Union Jack flags. The Bristish really knows how to put on a grand National event! But I digress…
I’ve lived in the U.K for 10 plus years and in my opinion, the Royal family are the epitome of grace and elegance, in both demeanour and speech. I’ve been secretly (and not very successfully) trying to learn the RP accent, aka “Received Pronunciation” or the “Queen’s English”, which is what often associated with people from the upper- and upper-middle class.
I really just love the sound of it. Annunciating each syllable clearly and let the words glide from one sentence to another is just so elegant! And what a bonous I sound like I’m from the upper class! haha…
But joking aside, I am really fascinated by how we come across just by the way we speak! You can read more about it here if you’re as fascinated as I am about British accents!
Key Takeaways:
- Refined Language: Eloquent speech is a powerful tool that cultivates prestige and influence in all facets of our lives.
- Potent Impact: Speaking elegantly enhances personal and professional image, bolsters authority, and engages the audience with impact.
- Lessons from the Jubilee: Such events are not only cultural spectacles but also showcase the art of eloquence expression.
Without further ado, let’s get into it.
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What Does It Mean to Speak Elegantly and More Eloquently?
When you speak more eloquently, your message commands attention. Increase the understanding of your ideas and gain more influence from the audience. Similarly, speaking with elegance transcends into more impact and respect.
A well-crafted message coupled with a compelling story and delivered with eloquence and poise leaves a lasting memory on the audience.
Whether you’re in the boardroom or social setting, the way you express yourself can have a lasting impact on your sophistication and savviness, and most importantly, how people perceive you.
Your voice, your diction – become tools that carve your professional image and personal brand. During the Platinum Jubilee, I was captivated by the late Queen’s gracious speech delivery.
Her words were carefully chosen and delivered with dignity and warmth. It like listening to your grandmother speak and you feel so inspired by her stories!
Embarking on a Journey of Eloquent Speech
This topic is very close to my heart! As a recovered glossophobia, I want to share how I overcame it. If I can make a difference to just one of you, then my job here is done!
In short, it is a journey. It’s not going to happen overnight, but it will happen. You just need to commit to apply these techniques and practise, practise, practise.
Having moved to Australia at a young age without speaking a word of English, I was teased and ridiculed at school for my bad pronunciation every time I spoke. This turned into bad case of speaking anxiety growing up!
Even amongst friends, I was always the quiet one. Not because I didn’t have anything to say. But because I was so scared to speak because I didn’t want to be laughed at me.
So I spent years learning how to express myself articulately in English! Believe me when I say eloquence is not a gift you were born with. It’s an art that can be learned and refined over time.
If I can transform from a scared and hesitant speaker to now leading conversations with senior leaders at work, then so can you!
I have seen how eloquent speech transform my message, leadership and most importantly, the quality of my relationships.
Today I spend about 80% of my professional life pitching ideas and opportunities to senior leaders and influencing stakeholders.
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The Secret to Eloquent Speaking is practise, practise, and PRACTISE
If you are sick of speaking and feeling unheard, then this is for you. In the next section, I will share some of the techniques of how to be more effective when communicating. But the secret ingredient to speaking more eloquently is practise, practise and more practise.
Ladies, I promise you, the journey to eloquence is a thrilling pursuit. Along this path, I discovered Toastmasters, which is a game changer!
Disclaimer, this is not a sponsored post (although I would love for it to be!), just sharing my experience and the real value I got from it with you, in case it is helpful.
It is a vibrant community to help people to perfect their public speaking capability by delivering speeches and group evaluations. This amazing group inspired me to refine my speaking skills.
Toastmasters gave me the platform to practise delivering speeches in front of an audience, receive evaluation, and apply the learnings in the next delivery.
Being articulate with my speech is what’s shaped the way people perceive me today. I’ve taken feedback from the group, both sweet and some not so sweet.
But its a safe space. Any constructive feedback is said with love. I can honestly say, these sessions have been crucial to me findinig my voice today! And I wouldn’t be able to do what I do today otherwise.
Hacking Self-Confidence
Speaking is not just about what you say and how you say. It’s also about the unspoken elements that people often read into more than the words you say, such from your body language and the way you dress.
A study conducted by Dr Albert Mehrabian, a renown behavoural psychologist, about communication and came up with the 7-55-38 rule, where only 7% is from the words you use, 55% is from the body language and 38% is from your voicoe.
This means having confident body language and voice is more important than ever, if you want to come across eloquent, speak with elegance and sophistication.
You might say, but it’s a catch 22. How can you confidently speak without feeling confident?
Here are some techniques and hacks you can adopt to make you appear more confident and therefore enable you to deliver your messages more eloquently.
You know, fake it till you make it!
Adopt a Confident Body Language with the Right Posture – it reallly is that simple
- Embrace the power stand: Position yourself with confidence by standing tall and poised. Planted your feet firmly on the ground. Feel the strength, stability and confidence in your stance.
- Maintain an upright posture when seated: This will reflect grace and poise, ideally adopting the royal sitting posture.
- Gently roll your shoulders back and down: This subtle movement radiates relaxation and self-assurance.
- Make meaningful eye contact: Engaging your audience with regular nonhostile eye contact.
- Remember to smile: A universal symbol of warmth and approachability.
Adopting the above body language not only makes you appear more confident, it also helps with projecting a stronger voice when you speak.
How to Speak More Eloquently and Sound More Elegantly
Every word holds power. I’ve come to appreciate this more deeply as I’ve been on this journey to refine the art of speaking. But there are some tactics you can adopt to complement your words to make the message more impactful.
In summary, it boils down to these three things:
- Articulate fearlessly: Practice enunciating words clearly, each syllable. Just like the Queen’s English.
- Embrace pauses: They give weight to the words. Replace filler words with a strategic silence will make your message more impactful.
- Breathe with intent: Taking a breath at the right moment will help to steady your voice, which will allow you to create an elegant delivery.
I hope these techniques will help you on your journey towards eloquent expression and speak elegantly.
Practice proper enunciation, don’t swallow your syllables
First and foremost, practice proper speaking, enunciating syllables clearly. It is said, the ‘Queen’s English’, as in a type of English accent, not English spoken by the Queen, is said to be the “proper” English, where they pronounce syllables properly.
Further, do not mumble. No one will be able to make out what you’re saying. Speak clearly and articulately.
- Exercise: Take a phrase and say it slowly. Focus on every sound. There are also a lot of YouTube videos teaching people how to speak Queen’s English. Definitely worth checking.
- Impact: Practice daily, and watch your confidence increase and people will start to listen more intently when you speak.
Most importantly, try not to rush when you speak. I know when you’re not comfortable speaking in front of people, you just want to speak quickly and rush off the stage. This is when you can start jumbling your words.
The best remedy is get comfortable hearing your own voices. Slow down and breath which brings me to the next point…
Slow down, pace yourself and breathe
As I mentioned above, when we’re nervous, we tend to speak faster. And it may come out as a brain dump. Not very elegant!
So my advise is to take a moment to pause before you speak. Take a deep breath, count to three then start. This is what I all a ‘strategic silent’. Not only it calms your nerves, it also help to capture pepole’s attention and creates anticipation for your message.
Another thing to remember is to slow down your delivery. Pace yourself. Give each word its own air time. By slowing down, you can breath in between, which will calm you down further and give you more control.
I learnt to articulate my thoughts with care, with consideration and make every word count. Remember, it’s not a race to the finish line. It’s you having important things to share and deserve to be heard.
Control your pitch and intonation
The next technique is learn to master your pitch and intonation when you speak. It brings life to your words. They create interest and emotions in your speech. Your voice can bring interest to what you’re saying and elicit engagement or can send people to sleep. So you need to learn how to use it wisely.
I mean, have you listened to a monotone speaker? Exactly! I want you to practise modulate your speech. By this, I mean emphasising certain words, project joy in your voice when you talk about happy things, or soften your tones for sad news.
You can do vocal exercises to help control your pitch such as doing the scales, like in singing. These exercises will help you explore the range of your pitch. So remember to adopt them when you speak to generate more engagement.
In addition, remember we said earlier, adopting a power stand and sitting upright? Well another tip I personally use to give me more control over my speech and pitch and to project my voice from the diaphragm, again much like a singer. And having a straight upper body makes it easier for your to activate it.
These variations in pitch will make all the difference to how you come across when you speak. They certainly add a layer of sophistication and eloquence. As you vary your statement becomes a story, dry facts can transform into memorable narratives.
Lastly, be mindful of how you finish your sentences. Do you end with a lower pitch, higher pitch or let your voice “trail off”? None of these are ideal. We want to keep a consistent volume when you speak.
Fun fact, the late Queen lets her words glide to the finish line. That is the epitome of eloquence and grace.
Control the emotions in your voice and maintaining composure
The next technique on how to speak more eloquently is controlling the emotions in your voice whilst you are talking. This is a tricky one and quite important. This is NOT about showing no emotions.
Keeping a steach voice conveys composure. It paints an image of elegance, utter power and professionalism. I must admit it, I haven’t quite mastered this, especially when the stakes are high. This control speaks volumes without shouting a word. And is the ultimate goal of eloquent speaking!
In those situations, I embrace strategic pause to reset my mental state and buy myself time to activate my ‘diaphragm’ voice. This allows me to maintain my composure better.
Just like Michelle Obama, standing poised before a sea of faces, with lots at stake, her voice remains calm. Her words are deliberate, pausing intentionally.
This is a skill that can be mastered over time. When you have mastered it, the result is a stronger presence, commands attention, and have more respect with your words.
Fun fact: This is a technique used by singers, stage performers, actors, and most successful public speakers to have better control of the emotions in their voices.
Tips on how to appropriately express yourself
Expressing myself is something I struggled with a lot. I am much better at it now, but by no means perfect. It’s a life-time of practicing and refining.
Eloquent speaking is all about expressing ourselves and being authentic. Speech mirrors the soul. Mastering self-expression steers us closer to authenticity. That means expressing words with emotions.
For example, a heartflet toast at a wedding calls for warmth and joy. Conversely, a professional seminar demands precision and fortitude. The key is to match your words to the mood. Like dressing the table with the nice stuff for a formal dinner.
Uttlimate, remember the power of being real. The most eloquent speech flows from a stream of sincerity. Let each word be intentional, kind and build a lasting connection with your audience.
Practise active listening and staying present
Last, but not least, practice active listening. This will transform how you speak. It sharpens your ability to respond with relevance and depth. This means staying present, paying attention and not multitasking when you’re in a conversation.
These days with every connection is done behind screens and every meeting is through zoom, it’s so easily to slip to checking your emails while in a meeting.
I was the same not so long ago. Now I make a point to stop everything when I’m in a meeting and listen intently so I can respond tactfully.
My journey with Toastmaster have finesse my active listening skills because we have to evaluate other people’s speeches. Unless you pay attention, you can’t provide constructive evaluation.
So I invite you to join me. Listen intently. Focus on the person speaking. Let’s become eloqent speakers together, but magnificant listerners first.
The Way You Look is as Important as How You Sound
While sounding more eloquent is intrinsic to your savvy lady image, dressing the part contributes equally to your elegance, if not more. So make sure you choose the right outfit for the occasion. Especially in a professional setting.
Our modern-day icons of ladylike grace, Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, demonstrate this with aplomb. Her poised, confident delivery is as captivating as their style. Always appropriate!
For a casual day where you’re hanging out with friends, then I would go for an effortless everyday elegant look.
Such as a simple white shirt paired with a midi skirt. Mine is an old one from See by Chloe, but similar ones tiered skirt from Ralph Lauren, Aje one at 45% off original prices and Sandro one also 45% off. Paired it with an oversize demion jacket similar to this one, and my Loewe hammock bag (sold out, but similar colourway here).
If I was delivering an important presentation for a senior audience at work, then I’d opt for my power suit like this or this, which adds more credibility to what I am saying. This also makes me feel more confident going into the session.
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Your turn to speak more eloquently and elegantly
Eloquence and speaking elegantly is a skill that can be cultivated and a pivotal aspect of your transformation into a modern, Savvy Lady.
It’s not just about making an impression; it’s about leaving an indelible mark. Embrace these techniques, practice diligently, and watch as your eloquence opens doors to new opportunities and heights of confidence.
Now, I’d love to hear from you, ladies. How do you infuse elegance into your speech? Share your stories or any additional tips in the comments below. Let’s inspire and uplift each other on this journey to eloquence.
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